Liked it but..
There is a random high pitched noise that seems to happen every once and a while, and it is rather piercing...
Yeah I just noticed that, it's actually part of the BGM I think
I laughed at the audio when i first heard it in the Audio Portal, and i'm still laughing now. My only real gripe would be that the music wasn't "Original" in the sense that you made it or that someone else made it here on newgrounds. But other then that it fit perfect. I would suggest bringing the volume down a smidge at the climax(s) of the song. Mainly to even things out, since it did get a little hard to hear the voice.
:3 I also was having an inner struggle about using O Fortuna, in fact, I went through the audio portal for remakes... there were a couple, but all techno (which I liked... but didn't fit the piece). DMac was epic, I needed epic music behind him :) (That said, go scout the Audio portal for awesome tunes! There are so many!)
It's weren't to bad for a year old script. Though it does have it's issues here and there. You had a nice use of music (Trying not to sound biased since you did use my song lol), and the animation was pretty smooth for the most part, and will just need practice to get it better.
I think that you have a lot of potential to make some really great flashes, and hey you've already been apart of a flash that got front paged, so you've got exposure already, lucky you!!!
I would love to work with you again as far as providing musics go if you want. I mean that song didn't jump up in veiws or reviews, but it's still nice ya know? =3
Wow! Thanks for the extensive review! What I meant with indicating that it was a year old script was that NOW I can write so much better stuff. And I understand humor a lot better now!!
Dear lord man...
Here i was watching this thinking, awwwwww this was so sweet. Then it dove head first into a wall of darkness and didn't come out of it. It gave me the chills at points, and though the "it was all a dream" thing has been used plenty before, so what so have any other literary devices and it was well timed in this.
And what can you say about a flash that is silent all but for a little ambience and sound effects that tells a better story than a movie with a bunch of voice acting in it.
Anyways hope you the best of luck with TOFA, and keep up the great work!!
Smooth but lacking
This unfortunately would probably have been better a few years back, but it need a bit more to it unfortunately.
The lips weren't synced very well, more random movement than anything. Though the actual train was in time, it felt like you didn't want to put much effort into this, which is a little saddening.
I liked the face on the train, but there needs to at least be more scenery. Maybe try some camera movements and have us sort of scan the scenery of weirdness that would probably be involved.
I know that this isn't the most serious of flashes, but at least put a little more effort in your flashwork, so it doesn't end up another piece of spam crap. And this teeters on the edge of being that.
But it has some potential at points if you put more work effort into it.
<(Review ^Request^ Club)>
Well... I'll be as nice as i can to this one.
The timing for the mouths where done fine, but i'd work on making them a bit more fluid and human like. I know it's difficult to animate so i wont rag on this too hard.
The jokes, well they where a little lame at parts but it had it's moments, but the part when they where talking about the cotton seemed to go off onto another tangent and i couldn't tell if they where talking about gold or cotton. Though the cookie thing was nice, though the timing of the joke could use a little bit of work.
Okay, now for fro. Well.... You're mic isn't the best of quality i read in another review, so i wont comment on that part. But it felt very robotic, and bored. like you didn't really want to be doing the voice acting of this. So i'd say work on your articulation, as well as accents. I don't want to sound mean, just wanting to be helpful...
Anyways, keep on trying =3
<(Review Request Crew)>
Oks thanks a lot... fan of Kevin Bacon?
Thanks for reviewing :P
A good start
Congrats on your 3rd by the way.
What it needs, is development of the characters. Give them a reason to love each other, rather than just love at first sight.
Maybe give the a rather large obstacle to overcome. Something like, they can't leave their flower, or they would wither away.
Or a diver takes the guy away(Or girl, i say guy just to give a change in heroic pace as far as what sex is the hero)
Or bring in another love intrest, and create a love triangle, and develope a story as to how the first two would end up together.
Or give us a good little love story, but one that tries to avoid using to many love cliches.
But give is people who we actually want to care for. Make us sad when they're sad, make us angry when they are angry. Pretty much, just give it as much emotion as you can =3
I responded on the journal post! Thanks!
I would really have loved to see this in the full quality it was meant. The story (While it's been told before, or at least similarly) is very well done. Even if it seems to have the look of an anime. But luckily if you where going for anime style, you did so without the stereotypical overly emotional characters.
If anything, the quality may be fixed by putting it into separate parts. Yes i know it's cumbersome, but it may provide us with a much clearer picture of the visuals.
While the visuals where a bit spotty at times, they worked well, and where very fluent. =3
Thank you for your appreciation and sharing your opinion.
Whatever God has blessed me with, all the Glory to Him.
I'm not interested in cutting it into parts. It wasn't designed for that.
How ever a high quality version will be on the website soon.
This is the first flash someone has used a song of mine in. I can say i'm pleasantly surprised.
The animation was pretty good. Was rather creepy, and well yeah a bit weird lol. There where a couple of sounds in it that seemed a bit too loud, like the sudden static sounds.
And though i loved that you used my song, it would be nice to have some warning. I don't mean i would have said no, it's just a nice gesture to the peoples you use the music from. =3
sorry for not warning, i dont waning because i donte speak english very well! but npw i say, thanks for your music and review!
This was disturbing... Can't really say it was funny though.
The animation was, well it wasn't terrible. There was very limited movement so it's hard to say much animation was going on.
I don't know if you where joking about the memory thing, but if you weren't then, dude that sucks. If you were though, that's a little fucked up lol
As gross as this may sound, but when he says "puke in my mouth.." The puke doesn't go into the persons mouth.. So yeah i don't know what else to say about this un...
Not to bad at least... =3
-Review Request Club
newgrounds.com — Your #1 online entertainment & artist community! All your base are belong to us.